


Taking six for the team

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-02
Updated: 2012-07-02
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:24:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3508187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Abigail decides to sleep with all of them, so they’ll all get it out of their systems and they can focus on finishing that last damn track.<br/>Unfortunately I’m not in a porn writing mood, much less a writing porn 6 times in a row mood, so you get the lighter version.<br/>(I rolled a dice to get their order, in case you wonder about that.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Taking six for the team

Abigail crashed the band meeting. “You guys are the horniest bunch of brainless assholes I’ve ever had the misfortune to work for!” She held out a hat with bits of folded paper in it.   
“Hey that’s one of my 'That’s Doable' hats!” She was such a cute girlfriend.  
“It’s all that was handy, Nathan, don’t read anything into it. I have decided that I will fuck all of you. Everyone take a paper, the number on it is the order you will go in. One a day, and then we’ll finish this last song and be done with the whole mess.”

She circled the table, and they each selected one. The remaining one she shoved at Charles, who was surprised. “Take it buddy, I’ve seen the way you use those glasses as rear view mirrors.”  
Looking embarrassed to be caught, Charles did. Rear view indeed!   
None of them had checked their number yet, they seemed to think this might still be a joke.  
“Well go on, open them!” Efficiency was her specialty after all. "Who’s number one? We’ll start today.”

They all opened them at once.  
“Ha, I gots numbers one! Screws you guys!”  
“No Toki, you’ll be screwing me, not them.” She surveyed them. “May I have the rest of the order please?”  
“Ja, looks like I will be hasing Toki’s sloppy seconds.” Groupies got passed around all the time, it was no big deal.  
“Uh, I got three? Can I switch with Toki?”  
“No, Nathan. Well, who has four? Speak up!”

Charles cleared his throat. “Ah, that would be me.”  
“I would like to announche that I have the number five. That’sch it, five right here!”  
Abigail just nodded and turned to Pickles. “Well Pickles, I guess that means you drew the six.”  
Pickles slumped down in his chair. “Yeah.” It sucked he had to go last. Even the manager got to go before him!  
“I require all of you be freshly showered for your appointemnt.”

***** Day one- TOKI

In Toki’s room, Abigail carefully removed her clothing. She had no idea what to expect from this one, there were a surprising lack of sexual rumors about him. He just stood watching until she was completely naked.  
“So what’s we do?”  
“What would you like to do?”  
“Huggings and kissings and then you blows me?”  
Abigail shook her head, no special favors.

Toki pouted, then thought hard. “Can I tittyfucks you?”  
“I suppose that’s fine, as long as you use lube and aren’t too rough about it.” She was beginning to think she might get off lightly with this one.  
Toki urged her to lie on his bed just so, slicked down her breasts, then climbed over her. “Holds them togethers for me?”  
And so she pushed her breasts together and studied her view of sculpted Norwegian abs.

Afterwards, he had enough decency to hand her a t-shirt of questionable cleanliness to mop off her chest. Abigail used it, then headed back to her quarters to shower.

***** Day two- SKWISGAAR

She was well aware of Skwisgaar’s reputation, but a lot of the time those sort of reputations didn’t actually hold up to reality. He greeted her naked, then sat casually on his bed while she disrobed. He seemed very comfortable about it all, which actually helped put her at ease.  
“So what asm we doesing?”  
“That’s up to you.” She wasn’t going to guide these encounters, unless things simply got out of hand.  
He motioned to the bed. “Makes youself comfortsables.”

She lay on the bed and waited. He crawled up over her but held himself up, looking down with a smile.  
“Well if it ams all ups to me, I am goings to starts up here...” He kissed her neck, “...and works mine way down.” He kissed lower, heading south.   
No matter what he said in front of the others, Skwisgaar had no problems with eating pussy. He enjoyed getting his partners off multiple times, switching between his fingers, his tongue, and his dick, or any combinations thereof.  
Abigail forgot to mentally take notes and simply enjoyed herself.

Skwisgaar’s reputation was indeed valid, she thought as she left the room on unsteady legs. In the future, if she moved on and was no longer working with him, she just might have to stop in and visit sometime. There was no commitment here, just mutual pleasure.

***** Day three- NATHAN

Abigail wasn’t looking forward to seeing Nathan. Of course she’d enjoyed their encounter in the sub, even though that had been very unprofessional of her. But the biggest issue was that Nathan had apparently decided that they were a couple, which was just silly.  
He was waiting in his bathrobe, looking nervous. “We should get married or something. You know, as long as you don’t make me eat you out. Or at least not to often?” He looked like he’d confused himself. “Wait, how do we do this?”

She undressed. “However you want to do it, Nathan.”   
How Nathan wanted to do it turned out to be a lot of deep kissing and breast play, followed by some surprisingly ordinary sex. It was pleasurable enough, but he seemed more concerned with trying to live up some glorified idea of making love than just enjoying himself. She’d heard plenty about him with groupies, so she knew he was trying to make it special.  
It was a wasted effort, and distracting.

Afterwards he got all quiet, seemingly sad she was leaving. Abigail considered reaffirming that this was a one time thing, but didn’t think he’d even listen to her if she tried.  
Well that was awkward, but she was halfway done now.

***** Day 4- CHARLES

There were rumors that the manager was gay or inhuman. He had no sex life as far as anyone was aware. Abigail got lost three times just trying to find his apartment.  
His apartment was very neat and tidy, his bedroom was as well.  
“Would you care for a drink?” Charles motioned to the stocked bar built into the wall where it could be accessed from either room.  
“No thank you, I’d rather just get down to business.” She undressed as he watched.

“Do you, ah, wish to have intercourse? Because I would be happy to simply pleasure you instead, if you prefer.”  
“Whatever you like.” She wasn’t worried about this one getting freaky, any sex acts he preformed would be straightforward and highly efficient.  
Undressing as neatly as she had, Charles chose to demonstrate his oral skills, followed by some short but intense sex.

After being offered (and accepting) a hot damp towel to freshen up with, Abigail went on her way. She could understand why they called Charles the Robot, he was extremely efficient. That might put some people off, but she’d enjoyed it.

 

***** Day 5- MURDERFACE

Abigail had to admit, this was the one she was dreading. She’d never heard anything good about the bassist, he seemed clueless about how to treat women. Well she’d insisted he be clean, she’d deal with it.  
Murderface greeted her with a rose in his teeth. It wasn’t a good look. He whipped it free with a flourish and presented it to her, but he’d bitten it too hard and it just folded over in his hand. With a scowl, he tossed it behind him.

Having no hopes this would turn out well, Abigail stripped and joined him on his bed.  
He pawed at her breasts and shoved his thick tongue in her mouth, then urged her to turn to the doggy style position.  
She sighed and repositioned, and he entered her.  
It was over very quickly, maybe the rumors about him seldom getting laid were true.   
He seemed embarrassed by how fast he’d came.

Abigail dressed and left, it hadn’t been nearly as bad as she’d feared at least. Murderface was a bit clumsy and heavy handed, but a lot of guys were.  
Only one left to go now and she was finished. 

***** Day six- PICKLES

She knew Pickles wanted her, but mostly only because Nathan did. She knew that Pickles typically went for stripper types with fake tits. She had no idea how this would turn out.  
He greeted her in his underwear, drunk... or possibly high... or likely both. He offered her a candy dish of mystery meds, which she politely declined. He ate a few more himself, then motioned her to get on the bed.  
Abigail undressed and did so.

“Nathan thinks he can ‘ave anythin’ he wants! But I’ve gat ya now!” After a few moments of stoned and uncoordinated foreplay, he stuck his dick in and went to work.  
Abigail didn’t expect much, it was clear that Pickles was used to engaging in sexual practices with people who partook of his candy dish and were therefore similarly impaired. Also, he wouldn’t shut up.  
“Who’s gat his dick in ya now? _Not_ Nathan, thet’s who!” He repeated for the... she’d lost count ...time.  
Eventually he came, and it was over.

Pickles spared her having to make after talk by passing out. Abigail wondered if she should be worried, but from what she knew, this was pretty normal for him. He should be fine.  
She alerted a gear as she left, just to be on the safe side.

*****

With everyone properly de-sexed, the last song was finished in record time!   
They made it a single and it went straight to the top of the charts!  
And Abigail’s work here was done.


End file.
